


When I’m Gone

by Desparado



Series: April Song Challenge [20]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24253240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desparado/pseuds/Desparado
Summary: After a prank gone wrong, Geralt says some hurtful things which cause you to run. A tragic event occurs and Geralt has to deal with the consequences of his actions – and inactions- which have plagued him since you first met.April Writing Challenge Day 20 – Rider (by Thirty Seconds to Mars)
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Reader
Series: April Song Challenge [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740901
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	When I’m Gone

**Author's Note:**

> I created myself a little writing challenge for April. The challenge is a new song each day (Thanks to shuffling my iTunes library) to inspire a fic of some kind. I’ll listen to the song a few times, and then plan like mad when the inspiration hits. 
> 
> Reader has gender neutral pronouns
> 
> Warnings: Canon typical violence; swearing; graphic depictions of life-threatening injuries; heavy angst; Sad!Geralt; Is there a happy ending? You’ll have to read it to find out!

“Oh come on, Geralt, don’t be such a grumpy guts!” You shouted, trying to catch up with the witcher on his horse. But he was purposefully trotting to create distance, much to your annoyance. “Jaskier, you dick, now you’ve done it!” You hissed at your partner in crime.  
“Excuse me this was nothing to do with me! It’s you who pushed him into the stream!”  
“Yes but it was YOU who spotted it and definitely would have known how muddy it was!”  
“I’m afraid I can’t respond to that statement.” He replied innocently as he kept up with you, both of you almost jogging to chase after Geralt.  
“Geralt, please let me make it up to you! I’ll… I’ll wash your clothes for you! And I’ll use my special soap that you like!” You broke into a run and took hold of Roach’s bridle, causing her to stop as you stroked her under her chin. “Please talk to me, I hate it when you do this.” You moaned. Catching his eye, he huffed and then glared at you in way you hadn’t seen before. “Maybe I don’t want to talk to you. Maybe I’m fed up of your silly games and childish behaviour! Having Jaskier is bad enough but at least he knows when to shut up- you just seem to constantly be there to throw dust in my face and maybe I would prefer it if you weren’t here at all!”  
“You… you don’t mean that- you’d miss me if I was gone.” You muttered unconvincingly, your hands dropping by your sides. He looked away from you, considering his words. Jaskier was watching from a distance, knowing how Geralt can be. Overhead you could see dark clouds approaching, thick and grey, pregnant with a long-anticipated summer storm. The witcher finally sighed and then pulled on Roach’s reigns, turning her away from you as he walked her further down the tracks. “Sometimes I wish I never let you come along.” Although he muttered it, the words were clear and sharp as they stabbed you in the heart. You froze, too shocked to even utter a sound. Jaskier was quick to defend you, scolding Geralt for saying words he didn’t mean, reciting times when you all would laugh and have fun together. But his words were lost to you, Geralt’s rejection being the only sound your brain could register as it repeated in your head like a curse. You looked to the floor and saw tear droplets land on your shoes before trying to quickly wipe them away with the cuff of your shirt. You looked around you, nothing but the hill you were standing on, except for the mountain range that was on your right. ‘The Mahakam Mountains’ you recalled; meaning you were a few days walk from Hagge. It was many days away from your home of Vergen, but it was better to be a stranger there than here with the person you had grown so favourable towards. So while Geralt and Jaskier were busy shouting at each other, you backed away until your feet touched the grass and then you turned and ran. Sprinting as if a creature was at your heel, you were almost flying back down the hill as you gained rapid speed and propelled yourself over the stream at the bottom. The stream that started it all. But you fought the tears as you focused on your legs, avoiding roots and rocks in an effort to disappear and grant the witcher his wish. 

“Just because you’re being a mardy arse doesn’t mean y/n has to suffer for it! They were only trying to make you smile, you’ve been miserable for days and neither of us know what to do with you!” Jaskier’s silver tongue thrashed the words at Geralt as he listened, “The last time they did it, you laughed and pulled them in with you- the poor child has emotional whiplash! Tell us right now- Gods be your witness- did you mean what you said?” Geralt looked at the bard and clenched his jaw before relaxing it and looking down. Of course he didn’t mean it, he was just tired from the plague of nightmares he’d been having. Not that he would tell either of you that. So he sighed and looked up in your direction but his heart stilled when he realised you weren’t there. “Y/n?” He called, making Jaskier turn around and curse loudly. “Y/n?” He shouted louder.  
“Oh great, you’ve pushed them away, great work Geralt-”  
“Shut up!” The witcher hissed, turning Roach in full circle as his eyes frantically searched the distance. The panic he felt in his chest made him feel dizzy, he’d grown so fond of you, more than he was willing to admit, and now you were gone… he couldn’t even begin to process that right now. He needed to find you. “There!” Jaskier shouted a few paces away from him, pointing towards the mountains. Geralt rode to his side and followed the bard’s gaze. He inhaled sharply when he spotted you, a small speck amongst the grass, you were so far away, how long after his words did you decide to run? He shook his thoughts away and grabbed Jaskier’s shoulder, “Get on the horse. Now.” He ordered. The bard wasted no time in climbing on, holding firmly onto Geralt as he kicked Roach into a speedy descent, leaped over the stream and then cantered towards you, watching you disappear into some trees by the mountain edge.

“Geralt, I don’t like this.” Jaskier whispered, eyes darting amongst the trees that surrounded them.  
“Neither do I.” Geralt admitted, before bringing Roach to a stop and swinging his leg over the horse’s head to slide off, leaving Jaskier on her back. He drew his sword and listened intently. The storm had arrived moments before and raindrops leaked through the canopy above; the lightning streaked through the gaps every few minutes followed shortly by roaring thunder. It was incredibly distracting, but Geralt focused hard. Looking for footprints, broken twigs, any signs that you’d been this way. The forest seemed to hold its breath as all sounds dulled. It unnerved Jaskier greatly but he strained to listen for you. Geralt closed his eyes, focusing on the strange quiet of the trees, then he heard it: snap “Oh fuck off!” It was faint but it was your voice, he was certain of it. And he nodded knowingly at Jaskier before he took off, leaving the bard to follow on Roach. Suddenly they heard a blood-curdling scream. Geralt sprinted in the direction he heard it, shouting your name as he did so. Jaskier rode Roach as fast he dared, though it still didn’t match Geralt’s desperate pace. The witcher made it to where the trees gave way to mountain and cursed when he saw you. Your back against a wall, you held a rock in one hand and a thick branch in another, your knees trembling as you tried to defend yourself against a ferocious manticore. Geralt assumed from the blood dripping down your forehead that it had swooped down from the mountain after spotting you. Grabbing a vial from his pocket, he quickly consumed it and raised his sword to charge the beast.  
Unfortunately, the manticore was more interested in you, it’s huge claws swiped at your chest. You tried to dodge it with the branch in your hand, but the claw cut through easily, the sound of flesh being ripped open filled your ears and you fell to the floor. Then, as you waited for the final blow, you heard a screech and the sound of metal piercing skin; followed by a familiar grunt. You turned to look but your vision was obscured by rocks. You tried to lean on your arms… but your body failed and you groaned when your arms gave way, settling for lying face up instead. More slashes were heard and then a horrific howl followed by a loud thud. Then a call of your name. Two different voices. You were sure you recognised them, but feared your mind was hallucinating, scrambling for a happy ending in your final moments. Footsteps followed by the sound of hooves before a rush of air and a grasp at your arm. A vigorous shake caused you to open your eyes- you didn’t even realise they were closed- and you were greeted by an alarmed Geralt. “Y/n stay with me okay? I’m gonna get you to a healer.” His voice was high pitched and rushed, the opposite of his normal tone. “You wanted me gone right? Desssstiny was jus’ helping out.” You slurred. You stared at him, admiring the endless black in his eyes, like staring into the centre of the earth. “I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry I wish I never said it.” Geralt replied, hurtling his words out as he placed an arm under your legs and shoulders before hoisting you up. Suddenly you felt light-headed and let your head tip back. Cold hands then caressed your head and held it up, “Easy there, sweetheart, no falling asleep on us okay?” It was Jaskier’s voice, although you couldn’t see him.  
“Look at you both, being so gentle, am I drunk?” Your voice was quiet, you could barely move your mouth. Then the hands on your head disappeared, leaving your head to droop again. You felt cold but the floating sensation was so relaxing, like you were floating on clouds. “Hey- stay awake, you hear me? Don’t fall asleep on me, y/n!” Geralt ordered- pleaded- as he waited for Jaskier to climb onto Roach. Then the two of them worked together to get you on too, in front of Jaskier. You seemed to have skipped time because you opened your eyes again and you were suddenly upright. “Oh hello, where am I?” You questioned, not sure who you were directing your question to. Geralt came into view and held your cheek, you leaned into the warmth and nuzzled his hand, this was the best dream you’d ever had. “Head back to the Ellander, with any luck Triss will still be there.”  
“What about you?”  
“I’ll run behind; I have enough potion left in me to keep me going.” The witcher insisted.

The journey back to the village was terrifying for Jaskier. Geralt had not only entrusted him with riding Roach but also with keeping you alive. By this point the shock was beginning to wear off and you were becoming more lucid; a dull ache had developed on your chest and increased with every bounce and jolt. Jaskier would whisper words of encouragement, telling you to stay awake- to talk to him if you could- accepting the odd grunt that you could muster. The rain didn’t help as the drops hit your face like tiny needles, the regular flashes of light followed by thunder seemed to be hunting you. He made it by sundown, thank the gods, and rode into the market, before turning Roach around to look for Geralt. After a minute or so Jaskier sighed as he watched the Witcher come through the gateway and join them, grabbing Roach’s reigns and pulling her towards the inn. As destiny would have it, Triss was walking towards the market when she spotted them. “Geralt, back so soon?” she asked politely, before noting the serious look on his face. “Geralt-”  
“It’s y/n. They’ve been hurt, please Triss, I need your help.” He was pleading with his eyes and his voice; panting heavily as he spoke. Without another word, she guided him to the inn and waited inside while he and Jaskier helped you off Roach and carried you in.  
You groaned when they let you slide off Roach into Geralt’s arms, the ache in your chest had sharpened and was spreading all over your torso. Tears rolled down your cheeks as they lifted you up onto a table, Jaskier was grasping your hand and stroking your hair as Geralt stood in the corner of the room. Clenching your jaw, you lifted your head and then let it hit the table with a thump as the pain worsened, trying not to squeeze Jaskier’s hand as hard as you were. You glanced over at Geralt and he flicked his gaze down almost immediately. “Don’t worry, Geralt. It’ll be over soon. Then you will be burdened no longer.” You breathed, giving a short laugh afterwards which caused you to cough and sent a shooting pain throughout your chest. You winced from the pain as Triss came over with various bottles and herbs. She ripped open your shirt- what was left of the front anyway- and slowed her movements when she saw the wound. You watched her face fall and then lifted your head to see for yourself. Three deep claw marks had been left, blood was seeping slowly from them and dripping down your side. You let your head drop and squeezed your eyes shut before letting go of Jaskier’s hand to clench your fists. “This will be tricky.” You heard Triss confess before hearing the sound of cloth in water then being drained. “No.” You hissed, shaking your head, “Don’t bother wasting your time.”  
“Y/n don’t talk like that.” Jaskier warned, “You’re going to be fine, you’re in safe hands now.” A cold, wet sensation was felt on the top of your head and it made you gasp as Triss tried to clean your wound. “Please leave me.” You begged her. Jaskier tilted your head to look at him and you saw tears forming in his eyes, “Stop it, you’re going to live-”  
“What’s the point?” You shouted, cursing when the pressure hit your chest. “I have nowhere to go and Geralt has made his decision quite clear.” You exhaled forcefully when Triss pressed something onto your head that stung before she wrapped it in cloth. You looked at Jaskier who was glaring at Geralt, “Anything you’d like to add, Geralt?” He snapped. It surprised you to hear his voice like that. Geralt stepped forward and looked between him and Triss, “I need to talk with y/n alone.” Triss sighed at the request.  
“I can only give you a short amount of time, I really need to sort that wound out.” She left her things by your side and walked outside, Jaskier reluctantly following suit. 

You eyed Geralt as he slowly moved towards you and stood by your side. “Just stab me and be done with it.” You stated bluntly.  
“Why are you talking like that?”  
“Why not? Do you not want that on your conscience? You want to get rid of me but not have me dead so at least you can pretend I’m living some happy life?” You gasped for breath, your lungs not working like they should be.   
“That’s not what I want. I wish I never said anything earlier.” Geralt replied quietly as he looked at your wounds. You scoffed at him,  
“You seem to wish for a lot of things Geralt, you need to decide what it is you really want. But you know what I wish?” You stopped for breath as you tried to ignore the pain in your chest and the cold wet feeling on your sides. Geralt looked down at you, the blackness had finally given way to the fiery amber you adored so much. It brought a tear to your eye knowing it may be the last time you see them, “I wish I could have been more for you. I tried so hard to be better, stronger; I tried to make you laugh, tried to learn more about you, but obviously that wasn’t enough. I loved you, Geralt of Rivia, with all my heart, and I’m disappointed that the best thing I can do for you is die.” He was stunned by your words, only staring at you with his mouth open slightly. The adrenaline of confessing your feelings quickly wore off and you cried out in pain. The front door swung open and Triss came marching in, “Time’s up, I need to fix that nasty wound. Jaskier, please take Geralt away.” Geralt didn’t move at first, still gazing into your eyes, seemingly stuck for what to say. As Jaskier managed to tug him back to the door, you decided to make one last statement. “Geralt?” You called, trying to lift your head up as much as you could to see him. Both men stopped to look at you and you took in a short breath, “You’re gonna fucking miss me when I’m gone.”


End file.
